LIVING IN HARMONY WITH ONE ANOTHER

I have felt a little sorrowful for Lady Susan Hussey!  Just a year younger than she is, and one of her generation, I see how easy it is, in the  'Here and Now', for us to be found out of tune with current trends.   I was initially surprised by the whole incident involving Lady Hussey, and Mrs. Ngozi Fulani (alias Marlene Headley) the C.E.O. of Sistah Space, a Community Based initiative dealing with Violence against African heritage women and girls; an Invited  Guest to Her

Majesty the Queen Consort's, Special Reception, to discuss Gender-based Violence.    Just HOW could it happen that such a well known guest, could be put down on the 'door step' so to speak, even before she had opened her mouth.   

On the one hand Lady Susan Hussey, 83, a very experienced courtier, and long time friend of the Royal Family,  a widow, and a grandmother.   She had been asked to be at the  Reception, in Buckingham Palace to greet and welcome those invited.  

On the other hand we have Ngozi Fulani, 60, a well educated, well known activist on behalf of women; un-ashamed of her African heritage, a widow, mother of four, and grandmother.   She was not a great admirer of Royalty, but had accepted the Invitation,  and had arrived at the Reception with friends.

It sounds, as it is reported, as if she had actually entered the Room, and then was accosted by Lady Hussey, who without introductions reached out to move Ngozi's hair away from her Visitor I.D. in order to see her name.  then she asked "Where are you from?"

Fulani "Hackney

Hussey "I mean where do you really come from?"

Fulani   "Lady, I am a British National; my parents came here in the 50's''

Hussey "I knew we would get there in the end.  you're Caribbean."

Fulani   "No lady, I am of African heritage Caribbean descent, and British Nationality."

Ms. Fulani describes the enounter as an Inerrogation; unpleasant; degrading.  A racial abuse!

O couse this conversation is recorded as 'hearsay',  and copied down by others.    I have read at least three copies and each is differrent to the other in some aspects.   We may never know. perfectly what was said, or even HOW the exchange sounded.    It is impossible to actually know how the dialogue  went, and thus difficult to discover any real abuse implied.

Was it, after all, real abuse, designed to belittle or demean Ms Falani?

Or was it a miss-understanding, based on lack of awareness of normal opening gambits when meeting people for the first time?  Perhaps,  if she had been greeted with "Oh, Ms. Fulani what an interesting dress; where did you find it?,  Fulani might still have replied 'Hackney' truthfully without intending any offence, but still refraining from giving the definitive answer required.

Perhaps it WAS just a 'storm in a teacup', which modern over sensitiveness and trends have been  allowed to be a MOUNTAIN on offence, instead of a mole-hill of normality, as it realy was.

If Lady Hussey was really on duty to meet and greet on behalf of Her Majesty the Queen Consort, then it would be surprising for her to go out of her way to insult, abuse, or distress any Guest invited.    She was not on Police Duty, but instead was assisting the Queen Consort in welcoming and putting at ease the expected Guests, at a very important Reception.     

If she at first moved the hair of Ms. Fulani, it was only to forstall the necessity of asking her name and not intended to offend, but to ease introductions.  

And then she asked 'Where are you from?'

Did she ask officiously,  haughtily, without a smile, or did she ask quietly, with geuine interest as one meeting an expected and valued friend.    These details were not mentioned, and it is the WORDS alone that are said to be the cause of all the racial abuse aimed at Ms. Fulani.

I live in Kenya, and in the Township of Eldoret, the 5th largest town in Kenya.    I am constantly meeting people in my everyday work and even on the street, and am frequently greeted and asked where I am from - they know I live in Eldoret.    The want to know where I  have come from, and -  had I been a Kenya Citizen - they  would still have want to know from where I had originally come from.  They would ask because I am white, but not because of that alone.    It is a normal, harmless, curiosity.     We have more than 60 ethnic tribal groupings in Kenya.   It would be vey difficult for me always to identify from where an individual Kenyan came from, unless I had become very conversant with their individual cultural heritage,      I constantly Greet and Ask -' Oh, Hello! Nice to meet you, where do you come from?"   I am excitedly informed, with reciprocal interest, and delight. People here are GLAD to have a chance to identify with who they are, and where they identify the most.  I do not find this offensive, and neither do Kenyans.   Indeed on both sides we find it natural to give expanisive replies to such questions

Might not Lady Hussey, in meeting Ms. Ffulani, whom she not known at all previously, just have stopped, and trying to get a closer look at her Visitor Identifcation, said,  "Ms. Fulani, Welcome to this Royal Reception.   "Where are you from.?''  

Ms. Fulani was certainly looking like a Visitor from further away than Hackney, but it was a reasonable answer, although I rather think that as an educated person having grown up in England, she would have immediately known she was being asked to identify her Ethnic origen.    I think she did know, but I think instead of proudly announcing her history she took offence, thinking that she was being diminished or demeaned in the eyes of her questioner.

I think she jumped the gun.    I think she misjudged the 'lady' she was speaking with.

Lady Hussey was doing what any of us 'old relics' would naturally do to break the ice of a first meeting, and YES, as one of the Palace Staff has reportedly said, she has been doing it for all her life - without meaning to even create  any offence or abuse.   Good  for her! I do it too, and will continue to do so, I suppose.    I understand she has appologised to Ms. Fulani.      I also hear that she has withdrawn from sixty years of Service to the Crown.   Did this Lady give up her life, and mar a faultless reputation in social integrity, as one trusted to aid the monarch in bridging the gap between her and her People?

Esther, my Kikuyu wife of 52 years, and I,  began a Children's Home 50 years ago together and personally, for 28 of those years lived in one house with 30-35 children at a time aged from 0 to 18 from more than fifteen different tribes across Kenya.   We lived together as a totally integrated extended family, our own three children being born into it, and growing into it.     We had no serious disagrements or fights based on differences between the diverse cultures, and indeed we ended up with a real Family - not just ourselves, but the 96 others who came to eat, sleep, live and GROW with us as family.     The world seems FAR from that, still.     But it COULD happen.      I speak  as a follower of Jesus the Christ.   I have known Him as my friend and Saviour for 65 years.    I have never been ashamed to say so, and never discovered any other whose Word has proved more sure and safe to depend upon, than HIS.    

Brothers and sisters, Men and Women of Planet Earth, respect one another, and respect your own history and culture.    And remember to respect each other's nationality also, and not judge.    The Christian Faith demands that we, each one without exception, should Love our neighbour, the one next to us, whoever they are, whatever colour they are, AS WE LOVE OURSELF.     And underlining this Commandment, REMEMBER this - LOVE does no WRONG to one's neighbour (it never hurts anybody)  Love is the fulfilling of the LAW.       Romans 13v8-10 and then Romans 12v14-21

God Bless you all

John Green