A BLOODLESS AMPUTATION

I HAVE LOST MY RIGHT HAND! I made this statement first on Face Book, and was deluged with friends writing back anxiously asking how I was and, what had happened. But of course nothing had physically happened to ME. My Right Hand has increasingly been our son, DARYL.

On Sunday he finally decided that TFH was not the place for him, and let us know he would be leaving with immediate effect. BUT he has not left the family, or left in rage or anger against us. Rather he has not been able to bring his life in line with what we feel, and what he knows the Lord would expect of him as His Representative in this Ministry. We had of course known this might happen for some time, and had been much in prayer about it. It has been a disappointment, and hard to bear, and will mean that suddenly I am without a great deal of help and assistance on the side of the Children's Homes. Tomorrow is his 37th Birthday, and tonight we shall be all together as a family (ourselves, Manu, Daryl, Carol, and their three kids) to celebrate. Still a son, but no longer a colleague. No longer my Right Hand!

I MUST CONFESS, that I had come to lean on his support too much, and in doing so was in danger of becoming more decrepit than I needed to be! I had begun to be unaware of my own abilities. Had begun to 'shut down' and almost gone to sleep. This has clearly alerted me to the fact that it IS very easy to let go of what is actually STILL your responsibility, and also come to the place of feeling unable to let go of the 'thing' or 'person' you are leaning upon. To LEAN on God is one thing - He will let you do that without in the least diminishing your own strength, vitality, or sense of purpose. But to lean on anything or anyone else is definitely more than a risk that could deprive you of all your own motivation and vision. I think I was definitely well into the latter in letting Daryl take over so MUCH of what really should still have been my own practical concern. He did not make it happen; he did all that he could and more than he needed to, in order to be helpful and to relieve me. I have been given a 'WAKE-UP' call!

Daryl has proved himself a gifted PR man and Administrator, very pragmatic, and willing to quickly take up any challenge. I just relaxed and let him do all the thinking and sometimes the deciding as well. I had doubts about his Christian character, but was turning a blind eye to it.

I was becoming like Moses at 80 herding sheep in the desert, leaning more and more on his Rod for support..........He had got used to it, and increasingly needed to have it with him wherever he went. He did not question it's ability to help him. I sometimes think Moses, at that point, had no vision for the future, and was in fact accelerating the ageing process in his own mind and body! God suddenly confronted him and asked, 'WHAT have you got in your hand?' The Rod was in Moses' Right Hand. His Support, Protection, and Security, were all centred on that Rod. He was old, getting older - there was nothing but the sheep......nothing more, no greater hope or purpose for LIFE. The ROD had re-focused Moses heart and mind. GOD told Moses to throw this stick upon the ground, and it immediately assumed the reality of a serpent - and Moses fled from it! NO, I am not saying Daryl is a serpent, I am saying that if I had continued to lean so much upon him, I might have so given in to old age and depreciation, that I would have finally found myself UNABLE to do anything. Daryl was in a sense taking away my life.....not in an evil or malicious sense, but just by helping me give in to laziness, and a miss placed belief that I was no longer able to cope with or measure up to the task in front of me. As my Right Hand he made it unnecessary for me to use my OWN right hand to do any work. Yet MY own hand was and IS quite healthy enough, and able, to do the work given to it.

In Tolkien's great work The Lord of the Rings, we find King Theoden, Lord of the Mark, who had been a great and vigorous Leader and Warrior, sitting alone in his Palace, passively accepting and pre-empting his own old age. He had yielded up his sword and position, to one who had come to help, and in helping had slowly taken away from Theoden a reason to be alive!

The HELP was good, the sharing of a load of work much appreciated, but slowly I began to lose sight of the fact that by sharing more and more with others, I was giving myself less and less to do, until finally I felt myself to be almost unnecessary - not dead, not incapable, not useless at all - just ready to believe a lie and lay down the baton...........before God had made it neccesary for me.

'They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with wings as eagles;

they shall run and not be weary;

they shall walk, and not faint' -- Isaiah 40v31

SO in fact I now believe for a NEW lease of LIFE; that instead of seeing me RETIRE from active seervice, as I had begun to believe would happen this year, I am now looking into a 2nd chapter of 40 years with expectation and new vigour. I sense then that there has been a 'pruning' in my life. We must now look for and expect NEW life revealed in new shoots and buds appearing. AND DARYL, what of him? It is tempting to guess and gossip, but it is of no real purpose to do so. I can hear Jesus saying to Peter, who had asked Him about John and what the future held for him, 'What is that to you ? You follow me!' There is loving rebuke in those words. They were in a sense sharp, but Jesus loved John AND Peter just as much as the other. Each of their lives was special and indivually important to Him.

Daryl is still a beloved member of the Green Family. Part of him is his own dear wife, Carol, and their three children. They remain living close to us, and Carol continues to teach at Testimony School. Life goes on. Only God knows what he has in store for any of us. Each one needs the prayer of others, that God will watch over us, lead and guide us, and deliver us from evil.

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THIS WEEK IT HAS BEEN RAINING EVERY DAY!! In parts of Western Kenya there has been deluge and flooding. Here in Eldoret it has rained a good part of the later afternoon, evening and even into the night. Nothing very devastating, but certainly refreshing, and welcome. We are Thankful and Blessed.

We have been told some donations are now on the way to us as well. Not enough to immediately cover all our current need, but enough to keep us going, and keep us from being seriously in debt. Bills are often many on my desk, but I can say with gratefulness that they tend all to get paid before the LATEST due date advertised on each. God is SO good. Sharing with Joshua and Miriam Mbithi on Thursday I found them testifying to similar experience in their own walk and ministry. He IS the same yesterday, Today and Forever toward all of us that trust in Him.

ALMOST

a real amputation!

On Thusday of this week two of our African cleaners fell out with each other. One is responsible for controlling who travels on the School Buses, and the other had been trying to force himself on a particular bus without a ticket, and been turned away. This was quite early in the morning. Later having arrived at work the rejected passenger found the one who had refused him, and there began a loud and abusive argument. During this unpleasant altercation the bus conductor punched the other in the face, where upon he turned and went away cursing his aggressor. He had not finished however, and finding a panga ( a broad double-edged knife for cutting through undergrowth and brush) went to the School Workshop and sharpened it. Then, hiding it in his shirt, returned to re-discover the bus conductor who also cleans the School Latrines. It was then School Break time, and all the children and staff were out of class. The two antagonists met outside the main Toilet Block almost in the centre of the School. Immediately the one took the sharpend panga from his shirt and set about the other severing his LEFT hand, and chopping the other severely. Blood spurting everwhere, the whole place panicked, with children and staff running hither and thither screaming.

Finally all was brought under control and the wounded one rushed to Hospital, and the other held and bound and given over to the police. The wounded one found good treatment and his hand has been restored to his wrist with good hope of eventual healing. It will take some months. We shall be the ones responsible for shouldering the cost of his treatment. He himself has no family, and since he will not be able to care for himself easily he will be staying with us here till he is able once again to use his hands. Always something NEW ! However we are not hoping for further such happenings.

And so yet another week has flown my - and the month almost ended. God Bless and be with you all

John and Esther