THE DEATH OF MONOGAMY - AND A WHOLE LOT MORE!

H.R.H. PRINCE MANGA BELL, was born a well known Paramount Chief in Cameroon.    Born in 1927 he lived well into his eighties.     As may be noted in this photo, he was a Polygamist with many wives - those pictured being only those he especially favoured!   He had a prolific family.    A prominent man in every way, he showed himself a wise and serious leader of his people.   An American film star Yaphet Kotto claims to be his descendant.
WELL, so what?    Not a lot really!  Polygamy lingers on mainly in Africa as a permitted way of family life.   The rest of the World has turned away from it as normal practise.      It could be said that this is mainly due to the influence of the Bible, God's Word.      IN THE BIBLE in Genesis 1 and 2 it is declared that God created Adam alone, and then later took one of his ribs and made Eve out of it.
One man!  One Woman!   THUS, initially, God is shown to be in favour of a purely monogamous pattern relative to men and women.      God may have made MORE than one man and one women if He had wanted to.    He did not.
With the procreation of children and multiplication of mankind eventually, one might say, Man AND Woman were in the position to consider more than one partner.     Having FREE WILL he was able to decide for himself, ignoring God's original plan for Man.    Certainly Mankind have shown themselves to be more than promiscuous generally, either legally or illegally.
RECENTLY Kenya passed a New Marriage Bill which permits a man to have more than one wife (to actually marry more than one wife) with or without his first wife's knowledge or permission.   THIS has opened the door wide to legalised Adultery....into Polygamy.     It is a flagrant slap in the face to the Christian custom as it relates to marriage and family life ......BUT, also customarily, it throws Kenyans back upon their own culture and customs long before Christianity arrived.    Nevertheless not all the Tribes in Kenya or Africa as a whole were habitually polygamous.     AND, where it was and perhaps still is, practised it did not prevent a man from being prosperous, respected and powerful.

I am, of course, a Christian in as much as I endeavour to base my life on the Teaching and Example I find in the Bible  both in the Old Testament AND the Gospels.     I do not see Polygamy taught as a desirable way of life, in any way.     Purely an expedient to please our fleshly appetites basically.   If I were not a Christian - if I were even an atheist - I would not be happy with it for myself.

LAST TUESDAY Kenya's Daily Nation newspaper commenced a double page article on Marriage, commencing it on the FRONT PAGE with the words -

'IS THIS THE DEATH OF MONOGAMY?

The Changing Face of Marriage'

written by one Joyce Nyairo.    She starts off by writing thus -

'Marriage - symbolised by the wedding ring - is seen as an encumbrance, a burden that inhibits recreation.

In the club, on the streets, anywhere where there is fun, marriage is dispensable.

That is why, in their 2006 anthem, 'Furahi Day', Nonini and Nameless say

'Kaa ni Friday na unafua umeoa, pete jo lazima utatoa'

(If it is Friday and you know you are married,

you will have to remove your wedding ring).

One thing is sure, lifestyle is changing in Kenya.      Family life is changing.   Morality is changing. Kenya is a place of declining morality and even declining god consciousness.    But Kenya is not alone in this slide away from God given Standards of living.     Neither is Christianity and its BIBLE alone in being spurned, even done without.      There is generally a turning away from anything that might spoil man's 'fun' and determination to please himself.    Muslims, Hindus and others may be all heard complaining of a drift away from GOD.      Perhaps we are witnessing the DEATH of the knowledge of God in our world - in our lives.

IN THE ARTICLE QUOTED, Duncan Ogweno, chronicler of Urban culture is cited as saying -

'The three most important things in marriage -

sex, companionship, and progeny

are all available elsewhere,

sometimes for FREE, sometimes at a FEE'

SO SAD to read stuff like this - so totally demoralising.     It cheapens life, home and family.  AND it does without God.    The writer of our 'article' commented this way -

'OUR sources of moral instruction have shifted.   Wise grandmothers, doting aunts with proverbs and folklore; austere priests, and stern spinsters waving the gospel of repercussions and guilt long ago lost their authority.'      Yes the sands of time are quickly passing through the Hour Glass.      Is there anything we can do to prevent total loss ?        Perhaps not!    BUT we may still do what we can to save our own family, children, circle of friends and relatives.    

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

NOT for your infidelity!   NOT for your unfaithfulness!
NOT for your freedom to break hearts, reducing home and family to harems and collective farms.

In the forty or so years I have lived in Kenya I have come across many children born into polygamous homes.   Not so bad perhaps for the first wife and her children, but for each successive 'fimily' the greater the hardship of being less than those before them.    I have seen orphaned children, with mothers forsaken, forgotten, left destitute by the the Husband/Father.    It did not impress me of parental responsibility or ability to make a home.
A man and a woman are surely meant to come together ALONE to make a home and family in which Love and Care and Faithfulness can be found, felt and known by each member of that family.   A place where each parent can daily teach and hand on what they themselves have learnt from God.
 Definitely not a Communistic Commune devoid of Gods mind or influence.

OUR CHILDREN, growing up in our Homes, long to have and experience what they themselves were denied; a home of their own, a happy family, and a safe, constant, and ongoing refuge for their children.      Many that have left of us have opted for Church Weddings; some have come home to us to be married here, and others unable to afford what can often be unsupportable cost, have applied to the Registry Office.        SOME have just come together in what is commonly referred to here as a 'Come we Stay' relationship.    But even they have generally stuck together and later when times have become more prosperous, have found ways to marry in church with God's Blessing.     All our Team working with us here have that testimony, and in fact it is because of their own marriage that others have hungered for the same.      This is how it should be - to people together learning how to love and care for each other through thick and thin times, learning forgiveness and mercy toward each other.   (The photo is of our houseparents - one couple in each of our four Homes  -Ben is the odd one out being single, and has in fact recently left us to direct a NEW children's work not far from us - They are all romantic couples and good examples to their families)


WELL this must be all for this week.     It has been a quiet week.     The end of May found us unable to pay our salaries, and by the end of the first week of June some of our co workers were feeling a little stressed, but then funds arrived that relieved us all once again.     How Wonderful Jesus is!    And thank you to all of you who helped in our relief in response to His prompting.
It has been an almost dry week again rain-wise.     VERY little.    We have never seen such a DRY rainy season as this one since we arrived here in 1972.
We heard this week that our long time friend and prayer warrior Miss Jean Potts, once a teacher in AIC Kessup Girls School here in Kenya passed on to Glory on 29th March.     She was well into her eighties but a true Mother in Israel,      We shall miss her encouraging notes and letters.
At the end of this month, on the 28th, Tyndale Christian School will be with us once more for about 15 days.     Very exciting for everyone.
BABY ABIGAIL seems to have overcome her Colic which means we all sleep better, BUT her lungs have grown with her length and she still knows how to make the loudest noises imaginable when she decided she is not being noticed as she would like.    We thank God for her healthy progress.
Much Love in Jesus to you all, and grant you peace and protection in every way through the week ahead.

John and Esther & Daryl and Carol